Christmas Time

Our son decided we needed a pink Christmas for Amelia. So we went online and he picked out pink ornaments, pink wrapping paper and silver garland. I'm so glad he wanted to do Christmas this year because in all honesty, I didn't care about putting the tree up.

Our First Big Family Holiday

Our first Thanksgiving without our baby girl. Wasn't sure how well I would get through it, but I did. Our son didn't want Amelia to be left out, so we brought her teddy bear with us. It sat on the mantle at my parents house the entire day.

Coming Home

Amelia came home today. We had her cremated and today we brought her home. We got this amazing urn that is a teddy bear. So we can hug her anytime we want to.

Our Final Goodbye & Discharge

At 9:55am, hubby and I made the decide to say our final goodbyes and let the hospital staff take her. The nurse we had took her in a different room and changed her into this beautiful pink dress with a white bonnet. This would be her final outfit. She looked like a little doll. I hated letting her go.

By 1:30pm, I was getting things together to go home. Leaving the hospital empty handed sucked. But knowing that my heart was filled with love helped. Coming home to an empty house with things the way they were when I left to be monitored sucked!!!

The Morning After

Its been a few hours since we said our goodbyes. The hospital set up a photographer from NILMDTS to come take pictures of Amelia. At this time we still hadn't told our son that she passed away. We weren't sure how he would take the news. Or even the right way to tell him. After the photographer was done, we spent a little time with my sister and brother in law, who were taking care of our son while we were in the hospital.

By the evening we had family come up and say their final goodbyes to Amelia as we were planning on giving her over to the hospital so the funeral home could come get her. Before everyone left we had our son in the room alone and told him what was going on. I would never wish for anyone to EVER have to tell their child this news!!! We all cried and hugged him as he now had to deal with losing his baby sister.

It's A Girl!!!

Amelia Jean came into the world.  As I was being cleaned up so I could be moved to recovery, I heard the sweetest cry from Amelia as the NICU nurse was telling me that she didn't think Amelia was going to cry. Hearing those words killed me, but baby girl proved them wrong. I got to see her briefly before she was taken to get an ultrasound done to see if the doctors were wrong. Sadly, they weren't and we were only going to have a little time with her.

After getting settled into the room, they brought Amelia in and I got to hold her for the first time. Man she was beautiful. Head full of dark brown hair, gorgeous brown eyes. She looked like me. She was then passed around for the family to meet her. Our son got to meet and hold his baby sister finally. I will never forget how happy he was. Our pastor and his wife came up and got to meet her too. He said a sweet and wonderful prayer as I held her. By 1:30am, I could tell her little body was ready to go. At 1:52am the nurse confirmed that my sweet Amelia had gained her wings.

I am so glad that she got to meet my family before she went. In her very short life, all she knew was love.

Amelia Jean 10/12/17 to 10/13/17

Holy Cow, It's Go Time!!

We get to the hospital by 9:00pm. They get me hooked up to be monitored, baby still has a good heartbeat. They check to see if i'm dilated all at, and to my surprise I am full blown in labor!! All day I had been having actual contractions!!! By 10pm they started prepping me for my csection since baby is still breech. My parents got to the hospital around 10:30pm and my sister was there shortly after with our kiddo. By 10:45pm I was being taken back to the OR.

Just Can't Get Comfortable

Spent the entire day feeling what I thought were just Braxton Hicks contractions. They started shortly after taking the 6 year old to school. I went about my day as normal. Went to Starbucks, came home, napped for about 3 hours. Woke up with the contractions, but they weren't bad. The kiddo came home from school at 2:45pm and we did our normal after school things. By 5pm, the contractions were still there, but never consistent enough for me to worry about. I ordered dinner since I wasn't feeling up to cooking, the kiddo picked pizza. I ate a couple pieces and by 7pm, bed time the contractions weren't easing up. I decided that I would lay down to relax, but couldn't get comfortable. That's when I decided to call the hospital to see if I should come in to be monitored. They said yes. So hubby left work early, we took the kiddo to my sisters and then headed to the hospital.

Csection Scheduled

Well baby is still breech and we have scheduled the csection. Baby will be here the morning of October 24th! I will be 38 weeks by then. Decided not to have it at 37 weeks because that is the week of my birthday and I really didn't want to deal with losing my baby the same week as my birthday.

Weekly Appointments Suck

Well my first weekly appointment didn't go as planned. I ended up going to L&D again for fluids and to be monitored again!! Hopefully this will be my last time being monitored here.

Follow Up after L&D Visit

Well since I had the L&D visit, my OB wanted to see me the next day. We have come to find out that I will be having this baby no later than 37 weeks. So only a few short weeks left!!

First Trip to L&D

Spent the morning being monitored in L&D. Baby decided it wanted to dance, kick, and poke most of the time. Heart rate would be between 150-165 depending on the movements. We were also finally able to get the recording of the heartbeat for the lamb!! Since my BP was up at this time, my OB wanted me to start weekly appointments to monitor better so I won't end up with preeclampsia.

30 Weeks!!

Made to the 30 week mark!! Baby still has a strong heartbeat, but still has low to almost no fluid. Baby is also breech and since there isn't enough fluid to turn the baby, I will most likely have a csection. If still breech at my 34 week appointment, we will schedule my csection for early to mid October

A Special Song

Everytime I would sit and listen to music the baby would move, but anytime Blackbird by The Beatles came on, it would kick and move so much more than normal. So this song became our special song and I will always remember this sweet memory.

Sweet Friends

A few friends I had met online gathered up some money and got us this really cool lamb. It came with a little heart that could record the babys heartbeat from an ultrasound!!

Not What We Wanted

July 7th appointment seemed to take forever to get here. With not sleeping well and hoping they were wrong, we prepared ourselves for the worst news possible. And sadly we got just that. Baby 2.0 didn't have a bladder or either kidney. We were given the option to abort the pregnancy or continue it knowing the outcome wouldn't be what we wanted. Of course we chose to carry on with it as neither of us believe in abortion. Now we had to figure out when would be the best time to tell our 6 year old that the baby he knows about and is looking forward to having won't be coming home with us

Worst News Ever

June 21, 2017 was supposed to be the best day of my second pregnancy, we were to find out if baby 2.0 was a boy or a girl!!! During my ultrasound, the tech was having trouble seeing things. At the time, neither me or my hubby were concerned since the baby was really low and in a bad position. So we weren't able to find out the sex of the baby. After the ultrasound and sitting in the waiting room, we went back to talk to my OB. Once he came in the room, we got the news that changed everything. We got news that the baby had low to almost no amniotic fluid and the possibly no kidneys. I was then sent over to a high risk doctor to get a better ultrasound done. That tech was unable to locate one kidney for sure, and was having trouble seeing the other due to the baby being so low and in a bad position. When set up a second high risk ultrasound for July 7, 2017 to see if baby would move into a better position.

Baby 2.0